Expected Own Goals

NWSL Week 13: We Need to Talk About Utah

We've reached the halfway point of the 2025 NWSL regular season, and though we've been putting it off as long as possible, we have no choice but to discuss the Utah Royals. After a quick whiparound (2:19) and an analysis of the Seattle Reign's side of their 4-1 victory in Sandy (25:38), the guys get to the state of the Royals organization. How have they managed to be worse this season than during Amy Rodriguez's time as head coach? Can Jimmy Coenraets get these players to play expansively and proactively, or is he delusional about their talent level? As we head into the international break, we pause the NWSL season on a real high note. Join our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 12 Recap: Bay's Home Loss to Orlando; plus, Angel City Head Coach Alex Straus!

Another week, another slightly chaotic result. Bay FC lost 1-0 at home to the Orlando Pride, but not without producing some scintillating stuff in the game-state-driven closing stage of the match. Might Bay be turning the corner in spite of the result? Might Orlando be just fine despite some regression from last year? The guys puzzle it over (21:06). Then, they chat with new Angel City FC head coach Alex Straus about his coaching philosophy, his ambitions for this season, and what the team can accomplish in years to come. Somehow, some way, Hegel gets referenced (39:45). Subscribe to our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 11: San Diego Returns to Baseline, Seattle Sacrifices to Sufferball Gods

NWSL clubs came out of the international break a little rickety, and with plenty of fire. The guys whip around the league to hit the officiating controversy with Gotham, puzzle over Alex Straus's first game with Angel City, and debate Louisville's future (1:51). Then, they peel back the layers of a grubby contest in San Diego between the Wave and the Seattle Reign. Has San Diego been getting lucky in attack? Can the Reign continue their trench warfare in all of these 1-goal victories? Just how ridiculous was Sally Menti's finish? (27:10)Subscribe to our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus features!Art by Eli Elbogen Music by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

USWNT Recap: Two More First Caps, Plus NWSL Messiness

The U.S. women's national team put two more friendlies in the books. What can a 7-0 aggregate scoreline against China and Jamaica really tell us about the side, two years out from the 2027 World Cup? Has Phallon Tullis-Joyce grabbed the starting keeper job? Did Kerry Abello prove herself enough to be called back in? Could Alyssa Thompson even be the better option than Mallory Swanson on the left wing? The guys try to find sticky answers to all this and more (2:50). They also rant about the meanings and attendant absurdities of Alex Straus's arrival at Angel City, Jonatan Giráldez's departure for Lyon, Jessica Berman's and Michele Kang's DEI "gaffes", and the ugliness of Curt Johnson's hire by the Denver expansion franchise (31:20).Join our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 10: Understanding the Sam Laity "Era" of Angel City

Six games, 27 goals: 4.5 goals per game this weekend marks the second-highest per-game goal total over a single NWSL matchweek in league history. It's been nearly four years since a matchweek saw no clean sheets recorded. It was goals galore! 
The guys touch on Gotham's CONCACAF W Champions Cup victory in Mexico (00:43), then whip around the goalscoring bananza across five other NWSL matches (02:33), before digging into Angel City's 3-2 home loss to Racing Louisville. They break down Louisville's and Angel City's performances (15:34) before shifting gears to the uncalled handball penalty late in the second half (28:16), the issue of Christen Press's playing time (33:10), and unpacking the meaning of Sam Laity's 10 games as interim head coach (44:37). Subscribe to our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 9: HEAT CHECK Part II

The numbers? Still Sticky! But before they dive back in, Eric and Evan briefly discuss the latest USWNT Roster and one very notable omission (hint: it rhymes Shmorbin Shmalbert). Then, the guys are joined once more by Kim McCauley of the Guardian to finish their review of the data, check their sometimes questionable priors (Utah), and call out a few of their own goals (again, Utah).
Teams featured in Part II:
Utah Royals (5:42)
North Carolina Courage (14:13)
Gotham (20:32)
Bay FC (27:36)
Kansas City Current (35:36)
Orlando Pride (44:59)
Washington Spirit (58:21)
Join our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 9: HEAT CHECK Part I

The numbers are sticky (or, at least, stickier)! Finally, we have a clearer picture of which teams are contenders and which teams still have some (or a lot of) work to do. The guys are joined by Kim McCauley of the Guardian to sort through the data, check their priors, and call out a few of their own goals.
Teams featured in Part I:
Chicago Stars (2:03)
Houston Dash (9:22)
Portland Thorns (17:36)
San Diego Wave (28:34)
Seattle Reign (37:42)
Racing Louisville (43:13)
Angel City (49:23)
Join our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 8: Chicago Stars are Blind

Believe it or not, the guys were already planning on featuring the Chicago Stars' 3-2 loss at home to the Washington Spirit as their game of the week, and then Lesley Ryder published her story on the state of the Stars. Much of what Stars GM Richard Feuz said that piece was embodied by Chicago, who put up their best attacking performance at home in nearly three years, but promise little for the future.The guys whip around the league (1:45) and then dive into what the Spirit's defense is still missing, and what the Stars are now at this crucial juncture (34:07). Join our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 7: Parity 4evr????

The top-4 only managed to grab a single combined point over the weekend. Does this mean last year's us-and-them table is a thing of the past? Maaaayyyyybe. The guys whip around the league to figure some of this out (2:56), and then close with the Portland Thorns' 1-0 win over the Orlando Pride at Providence Park (37:59). Barbra Banda was all alone, Coffey and Hina bossed proceedings, and Olivia Moultrie is locking in. Join our Patreon for $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs

NWSL Week 6: Chaos League Whiparound

All games from this weekend are our featured game, because too much insanity occurred for one match to pull focus. The guys go through all of it, from Orlando's epic comeback to North Carolina's at-the-death victory to a foul-choked draw between Portland and Louisville, not to mention Gotham's beatdown of Washington, Chicago's whimper of a performance against San Diego, the kooky draw between Bay FC and Seattle, and the utter contempt for soccer that Houston vs. Utah represented. CHAPTERS
3:35 - Houston Dash
8:27 - Utah Royals
11:47 - Bay FC
15:23 - Seattle Reign
19:35 - North Carolina Courage
24:06 - Kansas City Current
26:37 - Washington Spirit
30:21 - Gotham FC
32:49 - Chicago Stars FC
34:16 - San Diego Wave
37:20 - Orlando Pride
39:40 - Angel City FC
43:45 - Racing Louisville
51:17 - Portland Thorns
 
Subscribe to our Patreon for only $6/month ($60/year) to get all of our exclusive bonus content!Art by Eli ElbogenMusic by Devin Drobka's Bell Dance Songs